(Originally posted as a response to the IROC results thread on the racing forum. I think it's better placed here. Apologies for any breach of UCP standards — 'Quail)
I'm pissed at Speed TV, the macabre reincarnation of the once brilliant Speedvision channel that died back in about 2002 and was born again, in zombie form, after an unholy buyout by FOX.
Speed TV had scheduled to air the International Race of Champions a week or so after the event took place. I saw it on their schedule earlier this month, much to my delight. But to my horror an extensive search of their online programming schedule reveals that they've canceled it now, the piss-drinking, uncle ****ing bastards.
The dropping of the real IROC while its nomenclatural stateside doppleganger, an oval track race among 65 drivers sharing a all sharing a common Alabama zip code at the wheel of Ponitac "IROC" Firebirds (machines mechanically identical to those raced during the Truman adminstration) is an unprecedented and unqualified error of panther-****ing magnitude.
To put this in perspective, the recently unveiled VW Sc"IROC"co concept car was a mere sheep-****ing, in hindsight; one is merely distasteful while the other should, by rights, be lethal. It isn't, though. Apparently my slack-jawed countrymen love to watch pseudo-gearhead drivel repeated over and over and over again.
This American TV channel can **** up even the most evocative subject matter. Case in point: Their highlight of the Monterrey Historics at Laguna Seca was the ****ing Indy Roadsters of the 1950s/60s! These cars have two-speed transmissions, for the most part, and are only set up to turn left! Who wants to watch a bunch of (admittedly good-looking) cars stumble down the corkscrew at 1,200 RPM??? ****ING NOBODY — THAT'S WHO!
The coverage of the Barrett-Jackson auction was a travesty, and their half-assed "Ferrari: Legends and Passions" horseshit program makes a ham-fisted mockery of both Ferrari S.P.A. and Alain DeCadenet simultaneously.
They've stopped airing Victory by Design, the shit-eating, Chevy Cavalier Z 24-driving mentalists.
Their most highly-rated show, Pinks, is about racing like the film Anal Playground 4 is about housesitting. Whichever "team" bitches the most to that self-consciously penis-headed host is invariably the victor and who the **** really watches this NOPI Tunervision dogshit???
Did FOX recruit the producers of this channel by offering the job everyone who ordered a non-functional hood scoop for their Pontiac Grand Prix?
Speed TV still airs F1 races and makes a half-hearted effort at covering the 24 Hours of LeMans, provided that nobody's beating a late-model stocker around the Dipshit County Fairgrounds' 1/16-mile dirt oval. That's their only saving grace.
If the strongest voice for a halfway-erudite approach to media treatment of the automobile as art is voiced by an Arkansan with a picture of a Bob White quail as an avatar this country must indeed be in dark waters...
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Originally Posted by IBrake4Rainbows
They show lots of NASCRAP, and rice-o-vision. What's not to love?
