Dilbert #05
Fanatic
Dilbert #05
Fanatic
Dilbert #06
Fanatic
Dilbert #07
Fanatic
Dilbert #08
Fanatic
Dilbert #09
Fanatic
Dilbert #10
40 a day matesI think its enough
Unless you start protesting for more
I'm going to get this thread back into the sticky if its the last thing I do
Rookie
A guy walks into a bar and says ow!
boobs
Furniture
Cedric - I sound like a chipmunk on there. Some friends of mine were like, "were you going through puberty?" I was like, no I was already 20, I just sound like a girl.
Fanatic
This is true Btw...
The FAA has a device for testing the strength of windshields
on airplanes. They point this thing at the windshield of the
aircraft and shoot a dead chicken at about the speed the air-
craft normally flies at it. If the windshield doesn't break,
it's likely to survive a real collision with a bird during
flight.
The British had recently built a new locomotive that could
pull a train faster than any before it. They were not sure
that its windshield was strong enough so they borrowed the
testing device from the FAA, reset it to approximate the
maximum speed of the locomotive, loaded in the dead chicken,
and fired. The bird went through the windshield, broke the
engineer's chair, and made a major dent in the back wall of
the engine cab.
They were quite surprised with this result, so they asked the
FAA to check the test to see if everything was done correctly.
The FAA checked everything and suggested that they might want
to repeat the test using a thawed chicken.
Super Moderator
Conclusive proof -- we must develop an antidote for "Fleet-ism" it's spreading fastOriginally Posted by spi-ti-tout
It's NOT true.
best advice on ANY story your hear is to check out 'snopes' for validity -- http://www.snopes.com/science/cannon.htm
and extra few minutes saves looking the fool
"A woman without curves is like a road without bends, you might get to your destination quicker but the ride is boring as hell'
Enthusiast
Shhhhhh! It's funnier that way!Conclusive proof -- we must develop an antidote for "Fleet-ism" it's spreading fast
It's NOT true.
best advice on ANY story your hear is to check out 'snopes' for validity -- http://www.snopes.com/science/cannon.htm
and extra few minutes saves looking the fool
"I'd hate to die twice. It's so boring" - Richard Feynman, last recorded words.
Super Moderator
'cept the ORIGINAL story was about Ausrtalia advising AMERICAN engineers
"A woman without curves is like a road without bends, you might get to your destination quicker but the ride is boring as hell'
Fanatic
Well it was posted as a true story on another website. Guess I got it wrong. My mistake (see, I admit my mistakes!)Conclusive proof -- we must develop an antidote for "Fleet-ism" it's spreading fast
It's NOT true.
best advice on ANY story your hear is to check out 'snopes' for validity -- http://www.snopes.com/science/cannon.htm
and extra few minutes saves looking the fool
Another one
BEER vs. CUCUMBERS!
Reasons Why Beer is Better than Cucumbers
-----------------------------------------
You can't get drunk, no matter how many cucumbers you eat.
Beer bottles don't get sprayed with pesticides
Beer bottles don't shrivel up and grow mouldy if you leave
them in the fridge for a month.
Beer is always in season.
Beer removes unsightly flab and wrinkles (on the person
you're looking at, if you drink enough of it :-)
Eating cucumbers to forget doesn't work.
Reasons Why Cucumbers are Better than Beer
------------------------------------------
Cucumbers won't give you a hangover.
Cucumbers have fewer calories.
Your wife won't complain about you sitting around all day
watching TV and eating cucumbers.
You can grow your own cucumbers without buying lots of equipment.
Your wife won't complain that your breath stinks of cucumbers.
You can eat as many cucumbers as you like, and drive home later.
You can open a cucumber using only your teeth.
Having your face slashed with a cucumber doesn't hurt (much).
You can eat the whole cucumber, skin 'n' all.
A cucumber won't shatter if you drop it on the ground.
You can shake up a cucumber, and it won't explode when you bite it.
You don't have to worry about getting cucumber stains on your clothes.
__________________________________________________ _______________
If anyone wants more Dilberts say the word, Nobody seems to have noticed so I stopped posting.
Last edited by spi-ti-tout; 04-26-2005 at 09:49 AM.
Enthusiast
on a similar theme just saw this on a FM2005 forum (sorry if its been here before)
Police are warning all men who frequent clubs, parties and local pubs,to be alert and stay cautious when offered a drink from any women. Many females use a daterape drug on the market called "Beer" to target unsuspecting men.
The drug is generally found in liquid form and is now available almost anywhere, it comes in bottles, cans, and in large Kegs.
Beer is used by female sexual predators at parties and bars to
persuade their male victims to go home and have sex with them. Typically a woman needs only to persuade a guy to consume a few units of beer and then ask him home for no strings attached sex. Men are rendered helpless against this approach, after several beers men will often succumb to desires to perform sexual acts on horrific looking women to whom they would never normally
be attacted. After drinking beer, men often awaken with only hazy memories of exactly what happened to them the night before, often with just a vague feeling that "something bad" occurred.
At other times these unfortunate men are swindled out of their life's savings In a familiar scam known as " A Relationship". It has been reported that in extreme cases the female may even be shrewd enough to entrap the unsuspecting male into a longer-term form of servitude and punishment referred to as "marriage". Apparently, men are much more susceptible to this scam after beer is administered and sex is offered by the predatory
females.
Please forward this warning to every male you know. If you fall victim to this there are male support groups with venues in every town where you can discuss the details of your shocking encounter in an open and frank manner with similarly affected, like minded guys.
Super Moderator
A Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus. So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, "Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy." The blind man replies, "If you would've put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus, so shut the hell up."
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