Funny Jokes ... WARNING: may offend

[Vaigra]

LMAO! so randomly funny...I don't even know why I'm laughing..

[RazaBlade]

Has the paintballing one been shot while smoking.... or has he just died from smoking while paintballing.....

[PsychoChimp22]

Has the paintballing one been shot while smoking.... or has he just died from smoking while paintballing.....

He died because he ran out of breath lol.
That ones actually pretty good

[spi-ti-tout]

Why don't you guys try

One last before I'm off to bed:

- Irony is now complete

[Jack_Bauer]

Not really a joke as such but this football (soccer) headline had me chuckling!

http://www.setanta.com/content/setan...&noex&ref=rss&

Reminds me of an absolute classic from last year from the Swiss league....

http://soccernet.espn.go.com/news/st...337901&cc=5739

Enjoy

[RazaBlade]

Reminds me of an absolute classic from last year from the Swiss league....

http://soccernet.espn.go.com/news/st...337901&cc=5739

Enjoy

Thats just too funny! Nice find dude!

[Matra et Alpine]

A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner.


The man took out his wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?"


"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.


"Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?" the man asked.


"No, I don't waste time fishing," the homeless man said. "I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."


"Will you spend this on greens fees at a golf course instead of food?" the man asked.


"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't played golf in 20 years!"


"Will you spend the money on a woman in the red light district instead of food?" the man asked.


"What disease would I get for ten lousy bucks?" exclaimed the homeless man.


"Well," said the man, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."


The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting."


The man replied, "That's okay. It's important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up beer, fishing, golf, and sex."

[Vaigra]

haha very good indeed

[Matra et Alpine]

haha very good indeed

Should have added "drive fast cars" for this audience

[spi-ti-tout]

Would have sounded better if it said "I want to show my wife"

[Matra et Alpine]

Would have sounded better if it said "I want to show my wife"

no it wouldn't ..... but English isn't your first language

[Pando]

no it wouldn't ..... but English isn't your first language

Hah, you know that native speakers are blind to their own language. Improvements always come from abroad.

[Matra et Alpine]

Hah, you know that native speakers are blind to their own language. Improvements always come from abroad.

ah but the humour is in his wife SEEING it NOT him SHOWING it
SO hence it is worded that way.

if it only ended with "I want to show my wife" it fails to draw out and deliver the puchline with good timing

[Pando]

ah but the humour is in his wife SEEING it NOT him SHOWING it
SO hence it is worded that way.

if it only ended with "I want to show my wife" it fails to draw out and deliver the puchline with good timing

I don't disagree with that. But whenever wherever someone cracks a joke about a non-native english speaker, I'll be there. I'll be there... *fling my cape and fly away*

[spi-ti-tout]

ah but the humour is in his wife SEEING it NOT him SHOWING it
SO hence it is worded that way.

if it only ended with "I want to show my wife" it fails to draw out and deliver the puchline with good timing

See you lost my point

I was saying it should have ended with "That's okay. I want to show my wife what a man looks like after he has given up beer, fishing, golf, and sex."

Or maybe I didn't communicate it properly

The comment comes from the fact taht that ^^ punchline was in the same joke in the same thread a while ago