Page 1 of 35 12311 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 516

Thread: My wife is brave, and getting well!!!

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    Johannesburg South Africa
    Posts
    224

    My wife is brave, and getting well!!!

    Why am I posting this here? I really don’t know, stress therapy perhaps, an effort to shed some of my extreme anxiety and anguish, maybe, the fact that I can get more than a few words out without losing my ability to speak or that my home is now the emptiest, loneliest place on earth, that too…... Whatever the reason, if it’s of no interest, please ignore.

    My wife of 32 years suffered kidney failure several years ago and received a transplant 4 years ago. Our hopes of a rosy new future were soon dashed as complications set in, the worst of which was acute osteoporosis where a sneeze was enough to break a rib. The last 3 years have been hell on earth for her, with constant pain, only the intensity varied, but she bravely fought through and somehow, still shared her boundless love with her children and I. Often she said she wished she could end it all, just go to sleep and never wake up. She made me promise that if she lost consciousness, I would let her go and not keep her alive on machines.

    She developed some unknown infection over the last couple of weeks, which thrived due the actions of her immuno-suppressive, anti-rejection drugs, designed to keep her new kidney safe. However, she refused hospitalisation, determined to spend Christmas with her family and not in hospital. She didn’t make it and lost consciousness at 5am Thursday morning. I just could not sit by and watch and that’s when I broke my promise and called ER24, who were fantastic and she was admitted to hospital a short while later.

    Initially in ICU, she was hooked up to multiple drips and despite the major discomfort and a cloudy brain, she started to come back. We were able to talk and I did my best to support and encourage her. When she seemed reasonably stable I left her with the children to meet a prior commitment which would take me away for an hour or two. Upon my return, I was horrified to find they had evicted the children so that they could knock her out and connect up a dialysis machine, shove a ventilator tube down her throat and hook up various other life-support instruments of horror.

    Now, as I look down at her beloved sleeping face, all distorted by the tubes, feeling unnatural and clammy to the touch and her wasted frame, bruised and battered by their attentions, I’m filled with a devastation so immense I cannot bear it and I feel my heart breaking. Will I ever be able to speak to her again and hear her voice? I don’t know.

    The doctor calls it multiple organ failure, recovery is unlikely. She, and my respect of her wishes, left it too late to get help. As her legal guardian, the decision to sustain life support or finally keep my promise and let her go is mine alone. God, I wish I wasn’t me, this is just too cruel!! Unlike television, where the patient is brain-dead and the decision an order of magnitude easier, she isn’t brain dead, she could return at least to partial consciousness if the morphine were stopped. However, letting her surface from her morphine world into a world of indescribable agony is unthinkable, but I really need her help with this decision.

    I feel I have no choice but to break my promise again and leave things for the next few days, spend Christmas by her side, and hope for the unlikely best. Her own, much trusted doctor returns from leave next Wednesday, I need to speak to him first before I choose life or death of my beloved wife and life companion.

    Thanks for listening.
    Doug

    We start any venture with a full bag of luck and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience before we empty the bag of luck.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    True North
    Posts
    7,682
    That is truly terrible, I feel really bad for you man, hope for the best.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    Reality
    Posts
    3,151
    I'm so sorry Doug. Your pain is undoubtedly worse than her's. I wish you and yours all the best.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Posts
    8,068
    Doug, my deepest sympathies are with you. Some people get dealt the nastiest shit to deal with, and generally don't deserve it. Bill Hicks dies, Jim Davidson lives.

    There are many folks on here who will support you, and I'm sure us three (that's me and the two Canucks up there ) are available if you need to drop a Private Message

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    East Coast of the United States
    Posts
    11,994
    Wow, that truly sucks. Hope she recovers from it ASAP.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    Reality
    Posts
    3,151
    Quote Originally Posted by IWantAnAudiRS6
    There are many folks on here who will support you, and I'm sure us three (that's me and the two Canucks up there ) are available if you need to drop a Private Message
    Got that right.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Posts
    1,414
    i hope she gets better as soon as possible man, and what IWantAnAudiRS6 said is right... Waiting for any more info when you receive it.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Location
    GB
    Posts
    1,693
    I really can't imagine what you must me going through. I doubt there's much that can be said to really make a difference for you, but if it's any consolation, I think you're handling an incredible situation well.

    I certainly would struggle for the strength to even contemplate what you're dealing with, let alone make that kind of decision.

    I hope with all my heart that she makes a recovery.

    All the best.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    Johannesburg South Africa
    Posts
    224
    Thanks guys. I have absolutely zero interest in the usual stuff like my games, making something to eat, TV, although I have the sound turned way up just so the house isn't so deathly quiet, etc., and am afraid to go to bed and lie awake for hours with nothing to do except turn the situation over and over in my head. Just felt the need to express myself and distract my thoughts.
    Doug

    We start any venture with a full bag of luck and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience before we empty the bag of luck.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Ayr, Scotland
    Posts
    2,858
    My deepest sympathies are with you at this time.

    I cant think of anything else to say really, it really is hard when things like this hit you.

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Posts
    4,031


    Doug my heart goes out to you

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    South Surrey, B.C, Canada. A place where you will see Cookie Monster eating cheese. If you're lucky, that is.
    Posts
    275
    Wow... I really hope for the best. I feel really sorry for you man.
    UCP's OFFICIAL biggest Detroit Pistons fan
    UCP's OFFICIAL biggest Atlanta Falcons fan

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Burnaby BC
    Posts
    704
    Wow Doug,

    Keep doing something, keep your mind full of good thoughts and prayers for your wife to pull through.
    Keep on the asses of the doctors and staff to do everything that they can for her.
    Keep a diary of what you're going through, writing it down helps.
    Keep venting here on the BB, we're here to listen and to offer some kind of support no matter how small.
    I have had a first hand experience in the pain and suffering of a loved one when my daughter had Cancer. She's in heaven now, but my wife and I pulled through. And you will too.
    Have faith.
    Rely on your friends and family for support.
    Don't try to deal with this alone.

    We'll all be here for you.
    UCP's BSG Nerd and a resident Freerider.
    flickr page:http://www.flickr.com/photos/jaru72/

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    New York-Staten Island
    Posts
    215
    my father passed away November 11th.I can feel you bro.Just hang in there.You will be in my prairs.
    Ferrari will be WCC. Whoever wins the WDC will be from the Scuderia.........Yet who?

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Location
    Sydney, Down Under
    Posts
    8,833
    That is horrible to have to make. You have my deepest sympathy.


Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 2 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 2 guests)

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •