how to be a ricer

HOW TO BE A RICER
Pronounce N.O.S. as one word (NAWS).
When you are outpowered, call people out with your friends car.
Have an aftermarket body kit installed
Use of neons or L.E.D.'s to light up your car.
Use an aftermarket tachometer...when your car already has a working stock tachometer in it.
You must install a non-functional wing/spoiler on the back and front of your car.
Names of performance parts on your car that you dont have.
Claim to beat cars that your car is totally uncapable of beating.
Install racing seats on a car that runs a 16 second or slower quarter mile.
List stereo equiptment or any visual mod when listing all your performance mods.
Believe that Honda invented VTEC.
Putting sub-brand labels on your car...example:Honda emblems on an Acura, Toyota on a Lexus..ect.
Install an aftermarket duel-exhaust on a 4-cylinder.
Make your exhaust sound like a weed-wacker
Buy a nitrous system just to purge.
Using car donughts and calling them "skinnies".
Mounting smaller tires to decrease gear ratio.
Multi collored body panels.
Claiming horse power and quarter mile times with out testing or proof.
Talk about how fast your car will be once you buy and install all the parts.
Fliping your hazard lights,during/after a loss or during a flyby
Say you lost because your car is running on a shitty tune and needs to be tuned.......... when you're on the stock computer...
rev @ every car on the road that will eat you(no matter what direction they are going)
If some challenges you 2 a race you have 2 options
a.race and when you lose go to ws and lie your ass off
b.tell em they are a waste of time
my clutch is slipping,i missed a gear,my vtec was set to low,
when the vinyl work is worth more than the car,
when someone does a neutral drop in an automatic,
bouncing off the revlimiter more than once
I started in 2nd intstead of 1st
My shift light went off late
I didnt catch posi trac on that one
Law#43-my strut bar snapped
my neonlight valve stem covers are robbing hp
I didnt double clutch like i should have
When the exhaust consist of coat hangers and jb weld
Yeah its got about 5000 dollars invested in it ( and it looks like shit)
Its a prototype that no one has (built from duct tape and blue glue and pvc piping)
driving in and out of traffic with your Integra thinking you have a fast car
Getting your #s from a g-tech or some other similar meter.
using chicken wire as a mesh grill
Having gauges that do not work
Having a body kit and no plans on painting it
When you double side tape parts to the car and expect them to hold up at 100 mph
"Yeah its VTEC, but its not hooked up yet"
When you consider primer as a color choice
When you tell people it has a 9000 rpm redline and can only turn 6700
if you talk about owning a skyline someday and you drive a civic
having windshield washer squirters with lights in them
You refer as everything being JDM
Tell people you are running nitrous,when its really N.O.S. octane booster.
taking your 50whp civic to a dyno when it's stock
When you manually shift an automatic
Going to the dragstrip with slicks and running a 16.05 in the 1/8
All you do is brag about how much of a street racer you are
When your car consist of a GTR badge on the car and is not a skyline
you claim your car is fast then get butthurt so you claim your car is an autoX car.
you post pics of your parents car and claim it for you own
when your car has more torque in the lug nuts than in the motor
list winshield wipers as a mod and carbon fiber pedals
When you transform your car into something else with a headlight swap and taillight swap
When someone asks you if its mandrel bent or crush piping and you have no answer
When you stick the rim and tire out further than the fenders and you use curb feelers to keep from messing them up.
when your body kit is held on by sheet rock screws and thumb tacks
If you "fat arm" out the window with a sideways cap.
If you are 5'2 and you drive in the back seat
If you have to beg your parents to drive the civic
when you de-badge your GST ecplise of LX civic because its the suck model
windshield sticker saying powered by....(127 @the crank yeah thats power)
You remove every piece of your interior and you still run 15's
you have diamond plate floormats
you have a racing harness on your stock civic lx seat
you make your own intake out of pvc pipe
you know what jdm means
you have hubcaps that resemble rims
you drive any korean car and "mod" it
if you put 18, 19, or 20" rims on a sport compact.
Japanese writing on a domestic car
Put racing gas in ur stock civic lx
If you spraypaint your interior
if you don't make fun of ricers
If you are getting angry while reading this list
the local tow truck service is on speed dial
put lambo doors on
You join CLUBRSX , not to goof on them, but because you actually think they are fast
Calling your flat, bald street tires "Slicks"
you drive in 1st gear 90% of the time so you can hear the vtec whine
you have a bumper sticker that says drive it like you stole it
your keychain says aem/tanabe/greddy/typeR/si/mugen/....
you play nfsu2 everyday
you try to spell as many words linked to honda with your alphabets cereal
You treat your nfsu2 car like its a real car
Type-R
I will own you in the twisties
You have a V6 camaro/mustang and spend enough money to buy a V8 just to make people think it's a V8.
You've ever swung in behind a car (at 50 mph) in an attempt to draft.
When you lose you say "But your car has 4 more cylinders"
when you lose you say "Imagine if Honda made an engine as big as yours, because my 4 cylindler has 100 HP/Liter!"
You think you stand a chance against all Mustangs and Camaro's because they are heavy
You have a Vin Diesel poster
You buy a civic, add a cold air intake and cat back exhaust, add 200 lbs of stereo equipment and brag about how much faster it is than when it was stock.
You try explaining why vtec is better than a turbo charger
You have to let the passengers know when you're flooring it
If you know you can't win, you dump the clutch at 8,000 RPM's and say you couldn't hook up, but at least you looked cool
The only 2 exotic cars you can name are Supra and Skyline.
You put slicks on your car and only agree to race in the rain, just so you have an excuse.
If you tell the story of how your friend has such a fast car, he put a $10 bill on the dash, floored it, and you couldn't reach it on the dash because you were too pinned in your seat.
When you claim to race a stock automatic cobra.
When your cardomain site has a 'future mods' list.When you can shoot a grapefruit from your exhaust tip
LED exhaust tips.
When you have NOS seat covers.
When you have competitve races with cars- that dont know they are racing.
Put the car (automatic) in neutral on hills so that it rolls back like a manual and then go into drive when the light turns green.
Form opinions on cars you know nothing about.
Walmart is your #1 Auto Parts Supplier.
when you scream VTAK out the window cause you think it makes the car faster.
starting a poll about who would win in a race before you race

I don't know why I just read all of that.

[QUOTE=Rockefella]I don't know why I just read all of that.[/QUOTE]

i agree, but a couple of them were pretty funny

When was the last time C4 has made a thread worth reading?

[QUOTE=got hemi?]When was the last time C4 has made a thread worth reading?[/QUOTE]


he made one ?? :eek:

Making fun of "rice" was cool in 1999.
[quote]When you consider primer as a color choice[/quote]
I dunno, this looks pretty good to me...
[img]http://www.i3log.com/uploads/cars_2b_12_sb.jpg[/img]

i cannot be arsed reading all of that

[IMG]http://img68.imageshack.us/img68/2787/repost4bq.jpg[/IMG]

hahahahaha i was thinking about a completely different till the last line

guess its coz i just bought this LEGend

[img]http://www.global-merchandise.com/images/posters/LP0982.jpg[/img]

I agree with 50% of what he posted actually :)

Someone really hates VTEC....

[QUOTE=C4Power]

I didnt double clutch like i should have
[/QUOTE]


bahahahhahaha best one

^^^lol, agreed^^^

C4 is just retarded ganster and I hate ganster.

[QUOTE=Niko_Fx][IMG][/QUOTE]
Just ask anybody with a bloody life :p

Hahaha. There were some pretty good ones in that list. My favs -

[QUOTE]you try to spell as many words linked to honda with your alphabets cereal

You try explaining why vtec is better than a turbo charger

You have to let the passengers know when you're flooring it

I didnt double clutch like i should have

when your car has more torque in the lug nuts than in the motor

you drive in 1st gear 90% of the time so you can hear the vtec whine[/QUOTE]

Goodstuff :D

so why is V-tec so popular, i dont understand? Yet everyone i know seems to brag about theirs if they have one

[QUOTE=got hemi?]When was the last time C4 has made a thread worth reading?[/QUOTE]


Last time I checked, C4 only has 14 posts, 11 of which were regarding his car - and most of them were justifiying that he in fact owned it.

He has only started 1 thread besides this one, and I actually find some of these remarks rather witty.

Point being, he - like youself - is new to UCP, give him a break, he isn't doing anything wrong

[QUOTE=werty]so why is V-tec so popular, i dont understand? Yet everyone i know seems to brag about theirs if they have one[/QUOTE]

It allows a car to be both economic and powerful (though not at the same time) and 9000rpm redlines can't be bad :D

Sorry, but does this make my mum a ricer?

My old Civic she loved- it had VTEC, and she bragged about it for it's performance and economy. Our Civic that we have now, a green 1.4 NON-VTEC is crap compared to the 1.5 VTEC we had. The 1.4 is a newer engine, and it's worse than the old one. VTECs are good.

She has bounced off the rev limiter before, but that was in a road-rage attack. Does this further her case for "ricing"?

Also, she has raced blokes in cars off the lights in her old VTEC Civic and won. And yes, she dreams of one day owning a good car- I pointed out Skylines, S2000s, etc.

EDIT: She also prefers the latest Euro Civic 5-door with a rear spoiler which has no effect, other than aesthetics. I see her argument for this too.

EDIT 2 (reading this as I go along): C4Power says... Believe that Honda invented VTEC.

Well, in fact m'lud, they patented the name...

EDIT 3: The talk of having dual exhausts on a 4-cylinder car... that is so dumb. Honda's S2000 is a 2.0 4 cylinder, and it has dual exhausts. IS THAT RICE OR WHAT??? As does Mazda's 6, the Sport model 2.3. Most un-rice. And Ferrari made inline-4 racing cars, and you can be certain that they had dual, maybe even quad exhausts. Plus, and extra outlet for the power COULD unleash and extra 3bhp... maybe.

IWantAnAudiRS6, as a matter of fact, yes, your mom is a ricer.

In fact, any one who owns a Japanese engineered 4-cylinder powered coupe is a ricer. Period.

[QUOTE=nist7]IWantAnAudiRS6, as a matter of fact, yes, your mom is a ricer.

In fact, any one who owns a Japanese engineered 4-cylinder powered coupe is a ricer. Period.[/QUOTE]
Oh, pardon me for lusting after a Toyota MR2 as a 3rd car (if I'm lucky, it might run 12's down the TRL, bo yeah...).

That's overly judgemental, I mean, our Head of Science at school had an MR2, and he was not a ricer, he was just in a mid-life crisis. My dad likes NSXs, I mean, OH MY GOD! HE'S A RICER! (In fact, he's not, he just wants an NSX someday).

Tip, nist7- think, then type.

[QUOTE=IWantAnAudiRS6]Oh, pardon me for lusting after a Toyota MR2 as a 3rd car (if I'm lucky, it might run 12's down the TRL, bo yeah...).

That's overly judgemental, I mean, our Head of Science at school had an MR2, and he was not a ricer, he was just in a mid-life crisis. My dad likes NSXs, I mean, OH MY GOD! HE'S A RICER! (In fact, he's not, he just wants an NSX someday).

Tip, nist7- think, then type.[/QUOTE]

lol. I guess you didn't see my sarcasm.

In fact, I own a 4-cylinder coupe from Japan. And I've gotten a little too tired of bashing everything JDM, despite my annoyance at the ricer culture.

In any event, the Japanese do make amazing cars, they're just not in the same league, if you will, as the average American and European sports cars.

BTW, I would love to own an RS6 too. Aren't they working on a S8/RS8 street-super-car?

Please can you put a smiley next time! This is the second time it has happened- the requested smiley is ";)" or ":D"

I don't know what the guys at Audi are working on, but the new RS4 is cool. RS8... whoa...

[QUOTE=IWantAnAudiRS6]Please can you put a smiley next time! This is the second time it has happened- the requested smiley is ";)" or ":D"

I don't know what the guys at Audi are working on, but the new RS4 is cool. RS8... whoa...[/QUOTE]

That's a big 10-4 :D

You're forgiven :D

What car have you got that merits as "rice"? ;)

My Civic with a bling sound system was sold :( It had a Kenwood MD head, and a Simpsons sun-blocker for the front window :D

Now we're stuck with a manky green thing, a 2001 Euro Civic, and boy is it nasty compared to the 1999 Civic 3 door. But it's a good car in it's own right...

the sub-brand labels could be an attempt to make the car look like its from japan. C4 also forgot to add that : you race a bicycle. and lose. and that ricers live their life a quarter mile at a time.

[QUOTE=nist7]IWantAnAudiRS6, as a matter of fact, yes, your mom is a ricer.

In fact, any one who owns a Japanese engineered 4-cylinder powered coupe is a ricer. Period.[/QUOTE]
my mother owns a integra LS that has [B]no[/B]vtec installed, and she doesn't know crap about cars, and that it is a very fast car.

[QUOTE=kingofthering]my mother owns a integra LS that has [B]no[/B]vtec installed, and she doesn't know crap about cars, and that it is a very fast car.[/QUOTE]
16-17 second cars are not 'very fast'.

I you want to become a ricer, you have to be a bit stupid and to like ugly things.

Another one should be added to the list:
You post useless crap in 4 month old threads.

[QUOTE=Slicks]16-17 second cars are not 'very fast'.[/QUOTE]
well, she thinks its fast.

hmm. i think leds look really good in brake lights. am i an unconscious ricer?

Well no, since LED lights are the thing to have on new cars. Loads of manufacturers are fitting them instead of old bulbs.

LED's are nice lights on some vehicle's.. even alot of big trucks have them.

oh and i actually read that whole list. laughed the whole way through!

[QUOTE=kingofthering]my mother owns a integra LS that has [B]no[/B]vtec installed, and she doesn't know crap about cars, and that it is a very fast car.[/QUOTE]
no it isn't.
and i own one lol

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