Bad Math Joke-
What' the name of a blind mathematician?
Secant.
Furniture
Bad Math Joke-
What' the name of a blind mathematician?
Secant.
For Great Justice.
I lol'ed.
<cough> www.charginmahlazer.tumblr.com </cough>
Fanatic
x2.Originally Posted by IBrake4Rainbows
I lol'ed.
For those who don't get it...How much will you pay when nature calls? should clear things up.
I'm dropping out to create a company that starts with motorcycles, then cars, and forty years later signs a legendary Brazilian driver who has a public and expensive feud with his French teammate.
Fanatic
it costs 3 € if nature calls in Venice, no kidding, I've been there often, and the canals are much cheaper, I swear.
KFL Racing Enterprises - Kicking your ass since 2008
*cough* http://theitalianjunkyard.blogspot.com/ *cough*
Super Moderator
Two fellows from Mississippi were sitting around talking one afternoon...
After a while the first fellow says to the second, "If'n I was to sneak over to your trailer Saturday and make love to your wife while you was off huntin', and she got pregnant and had a baby, would that make us kin?"
The second fellow crooked his head sideways for a minute, scratched his head, and squinted his eyes thinking real hard about the question.
Finally, he says, "Well, I don't know about that, but it sure would make us even."
Super Moderator
We are in DEEP trouble...
The population of this island is approximately 60 million.
32 million are retired.
That leaves 28 million to do the work.
There are 17 million in school or at Universities.
Which leaves 11 million to do the work.
Of this there are 8 million employed by the UK government.
Leaving 3 million to do the work.
1.2 million are in the armed forces preoccupied with killing Osama Bin-Laden, and fighting in Afghanistan , etc .
Which leaves 1.8 million to do the work.
Take from that total the 0.8 million people who work for Local County Councils. And that leaves 1 million to do the work.
At any given time there are 488,000 people in hospitals or claiming Invalidity Benefit.
Leaving 512,000 to do the work.
Now, there are 511,998 people in prisons.
That leaves just two people to do the work.
You and me.
And there you are,
Sitting on your seat,
at your computer, reading jokes.
Is it any wonder that we are in such a mess and that I am stressed out through trying to cope on my own?
Last edited by Matra et Alpine; 03-10-2009 at 03:56 PM.
Super Moderator
For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health.
1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the English.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the English.
3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the English.
4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the English.
5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than the English.
CONCLUSION
Eat and drink what you like.
Speaking English is apparently what kills you.
Furniture
A Woodridge girl goes to Centrelink to register for child benefit.
"How many children?" asks the assessor.
"Ten" replies the Woodridge girl,
"Ten?" says the Centrelink worker.
"What are their names?"
"Nathan, Nathan, Nathan, Nathan, Nathan, Nathan, Nathan, Nathan, Nathan and Nathan"
"Doesn't that get confusing?"
"Naah..." says the Woodridge girl, "Its great because if they are out playing in the street I just have shout 'NATHAN, YER DINNER'S READY!' or 'NATHAN GO TO BED NOW!' and they all do it..."
"What if you want to speak to one individually?" says the perturbed Centrelink worker.
"That's easy," says the Woodridge girl... "I just use their surnames"
-----------
A Goodna girl enters an adult shop & asks for a vibrator.
The man says: "Choose one from our range on the wall." She says "I'll take the red one."
The man replies: "That's a fire extinguisher."
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Q. Two Inala girls jump off a cliff. Who wins?
A. Society.
Q. What do you call a 30 year old Eagleby girl?
A. Granny.
Q. Why did the Kingston girl cross the road?
A. To start a fight with a complete stranger for no reason whatsoever.
Q. What do you call a Kingston girl in a white tracksuit?
A. The bride.
Q. What's the first question during an Woodridge quiz night?
A. What the **** are you looking at?
Q. What does a Redbank Plains girl use as protection during sex?
A. A bus shelter.
Q. Two Eagleby kids in a car without any music - who is driving?
A. The policeman.
Q. What's the difference between a boy and a Woodridge girl?
A. A Woodridge girl has a higher sperm count.
Q. What's the most confusing day in Eagleby ?
A. Fathers day
Q. How do people know Jesus wasn't born in Inala ?
A. You try finding 3 wise men and a virgin there!
Andreas Preuninger, Manager of Porsche High Performance Cars: "Grandmas can use paddles. They aren't challenging."
Furniture
haha.
What do you say to gullible people before bed?
Nothing.
Weekly Quote -
Dick
Super Moderator
Q: What do you call a Norwegian prostitute?
A: A Fjord Escort
Fanatic
That's such a lame Dad joke. But I lol'ed.
Faster, faster, faster, until the thrill of speed overcomes the fear of death...
– Hunter Thompson
Fanatic
pic says eveything
The Datto will rage again...
Furniture
oh wow.
Weekly Quote -
Dick
For Great Justice.
I think I could outrun it.
<cough> www.charginmahlazer.tumblr.com </cough>
Furniture
as a J-walking pedestrian, you'd never hear it coming..until too late
stealth car ftl
Andreas Preuninger, Manager of Porsche High Performance Cars: "Grandmas can use paddles. They aren't challenging."
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