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Thread: the 1-line thread

  1. #1
    Join Date
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    the 1-line thread

    now this is how its gonna be:
    post the best lines uve ever heard here. dont matter if its a quote or a joke (or, as in the case of a certain president, usually both ). jus make sure tht ure posts are one-liners ONLY. (rep points may be deducted for those postin more than one-line jokes! )

    im gonna start by postin junaman's sig, coz he was the one who inspired me to do this...(+1 for u dude...)

    "A Higher voter turnout means that more people are going to the polls"

    "Teachers are the only proffesion that teach our children"

    lets see wat u got....

    ps: sum1 had mentioned startin a thread like this in sum other thread. who was it?
    wat the hell do i put as a siggy?!?!?!

  2. #2
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    Apr 2003
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    For Tax Purposes, Cayman Islands
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    this may be more than 1 line, but it's still pretty gross, yet strangely compelling....
    it is from Comedian Lee Mack:

    "Australia has funny ways of pronouncing things. You say "Shrimps on a barby" English people say "Yoghurt". You have Vegemite, we have Yoghurt. You use proper lubricants for sex.........."

    don't deduct for that, i'll even it out....

    "I know how hard it is to put food on my family". The infamous GWB, weapon of mass grammatical errrorrs
    <cough> www.charginmahlazer.tumblr.com </cough>

  3. #3
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    "The crows seemed to be calling his name, thought Caw." -Jack Handey

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
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    they say you are what you eat, so by tomorrow i plan to be you- Nick Gianopoulos (actor in the wog boy, its an aussie movie for those who don't know it)

  5. #5
    Join Date
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    Location
    Melbourne, Australia
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    In a recent survey 9/10 Americans agreed that 1/10 Americans would disagree with them

    Imagination is the only weapon in the war agai
    "Please, just stop blabbering! If you want to blabber...go to supercars.net cause UCP aint gonna accept this kind of behaviour." - Gtek-i

    http://junaman.wordpress.com/ New articles up.

  6. #6
    Join Date
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    Mistress - Someone between a mister and a matress
    "Please, just stop blabbering! If you want to blabber...go to supercars.net cause UCP aint gonna accept this kind of behaviour." - Gtek-i

    http://junaman.wordpress.com/ New articles up.

  7. #7
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    Canada
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    "Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics"

  8. #8
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    Feb 2004
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    A man walked into a bar and said owch.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
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    Durham, UK
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    "While adjusting for wind resistance, hamsters often taste of cheese"
    Cheers,
    -Ads

    "We used to come down, doing about 180mph. We take off over the bridge and change down to 4th gear in the air. Go through the righthander with the car drifting, and let it swing out through the lefthander and then slide out to the wall, where we simply stopped it with a flick of the wrists"
    -Vic Elford, on Maison Blanche in a Porsche 917


    UCP's Most Hardcore Armchair BTCC Fan & Anthony Reid Supporter

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Apr 2003
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    Rozenburg, Holland
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    27,329
    George W. Bush is the best US president the world has ever seen

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
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    Manchester, England
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    Quote Originally Posted by henk4
    George W. Bush is the best US president the world has ever seen
    ahh please dont make me laugh!

  12. #12
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    Sep 2003
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    Hamilton Ontario, Canada
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    1,860
    5 out of 4 people have problems with fractions.

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Location
    Hamilton Ontario, Canada
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    1,860
    My parents favourite sayings:

    "If you poke your eye out, don't come looking for me"

    "If you break your leg, don't come running to me"

    "If you had ½ a brain more, it'd die of loneliness"

    .....hmmm anyone wanna buy a set of parents?

  14. #14
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    Brazil
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    "English mother****er, do you speak it?!"
    Would it be possible, to play forever?
    The conclusion reached was that a player is inevitably doomed to lose.

  15. #15
    Join Date
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    S. California, USA
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    Quote Originally Posted by henk4
    George W. Bush is the best US president the world has ever seen
    Hahahahaha.....

    "He who stands on a toilet is high on pot"

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