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Thread: Funny Jokes ... WARNING: may offend

  1. #3166
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    ^^^ Hmmm. 160 year old Japanese Kimono, 1963 Plymouth Savoy Dashboard, or XMR Scout Amber Light Bar. All great trades!

    Just need an old hearse or firetruck to clinch the deal.
    Never own more cars than you can keep charged batteries in...

  2. #3167
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    pmsl

    [ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kTfy96gb2KI"]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kTfy96gb2KI[/ame]

    beats my previous best anti-aphone ad

    [ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2k3zvI2tyPM"]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2k3zvI2tyPM[/ame]
    "A woman without curves is like a road without bends, you might get to your destination quicker but the ride is boring as hell'

  3. #3168
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    E-mails from an Asshole Is my favourite ...

    but this is the one I got sent .... E-mails from an Asshole


    Watch out, it's addictive to read others
    "A woman without curves is like a road without bends, you might get to your destination quicker but the ride is boring as hell'

  4. #3169
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    Matra, have you read 27b/6?
    Life's too short to drive bad cars.

  5. #3170
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    Quote Originally Posted by pimento View Post
    Matra, have you read 27b/6?
    David Thorne is a genius. Hard to believe he maintains as an Art Director, he should be writing comedy for $$$.
    Never own more cars than you can keep charged batteries in...

  6. #3171
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  7. #3172
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    ^^^^^ some classics.

    My winner ....
    You’ve Got The Wrong(est) Number

    Call Center | Chatsworth, CA, USA


    (Note: our customer support number is close to a local driving school’s number.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “How much for my daughter?”

    Me: “Um…”

    Customer: “She’s 16. It’s her first time. She needs training.”

    Me: “Sir, I think you want the driving school.”

    Customer: “Oh, what do you guys do?”

    Me: “Adult websites.”

    Customer: “Oh…OH! Oh my God!”
    "A woman without curves is like a road without bends, you might get to your destination quicker but the ride is boring as hell'

  8. #3173
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    Quote Originally Posted by Matra et Alpine View Post
    ^^^^^ some classics.

    My winner ....
    You’ve Got The Wrong(est) Number

    Call Center | Chatsworth, CA, USA


    (Note: our customer support number is close to a local driving school’s number.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “How much for my daughter?”

    Me: “Um…”

    Customer: “She’s 16. It’s her first time. She needs training.”

    Me: “Sir, I think you want the driving school.”

    Customer: “Oh, what do you guys do?”

    Me: “Adult websites.”

    Customer: “Oh…OH! Oh my God!”
    Haha, that's awesome.

    Want To Chat Up An Auto Show Model? Talk Cars : NPR

    Not really funny, just good information.

  9. #3174
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    Attached Images Attached Images
    • File Type: jpg 1.jpg (93.9 KB, 129 views)
    "A woman without curves is like a road without bends, you might get to your destination quicker but the ride is boring as hell'

  10. #3175
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    [ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D1uaw3WIOlc"]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D1uaw3WIOlc[/ame]

    Wasn't ever a fan of predicting anything in the future.

  11. #3176
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    One website I recently found is quite hilarious in my opinion. Not sure if it's been mentioned before, and I'm not about to scroll through 212 pages to find out XD

    Crazy THINGS PARENTS TEXT

    Enjoy!
    www.flickr.com/photos/maestro_ng

  12. #3177
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    Just herd this joke on an old "My Name is Earl", cheesy but very funny

    A pirate walks into a bar with the ship's wheel sticking out of his trousers.
    Barman asks "Why have you got that there?"
    Pirate replies.. "Arrrrr, thats been driving me nuts for ages"
    How can men use sex to get what they want?
    Sex is what they want. - Frasier

  13. #3178
    That is the great thought about knowledge.Thanks.

  14. #3179
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    I'm not sure if that's a clever statement about nothing or a nothing statement that's meaningless...
    Life's too short to drive bad cars.

  15. #3180
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    A middle-aged man was asking advice from his trainer at the gym ....

    " I want to impress that beautiful girl, which machine should I use? "


    Trainer: " You should use the ATM machine just outside this gym ''


    and finally ( no slur on the Irish Replace with whatever country/state/city/suburb you prefer )

    Irish Furniture Dealer.

    Murphy, a furniture dealer from Dublin, decided to expand the line of furniture in his store, so he decided to go to Paris to see what he could find.

    After arriving in Paris, he visited with some manufacturers and selected a line that he thought would sell well back home.

    To celebrate the new acquisition, he decided to visit a small bistro and have a glass of wine.

    As he sat enjoying his wine, he noticed that the small place was quite crowded, and that the other chair at his table was the only vacant seat in the house.

    Before long, a very beautiful young Parisian girl came to his table; asked him something in French (which Murphy couldn't understand); so he motioned to the vacant chair and invited her to sit down.

    He tried to speak to her in English, but she did not speak his language.
    After a couple of minutes of trying to communicate with her, he took a napkin and drew a picture of a wine glass and showed it to her. She nodded, so he ordered a glass of wine for her.

    After sitting together at the table for a while, he took another napkin, and drew a picture of a plate with food on it, and she nodded. They left the bistro and found a quiet cafe that featured a small group playing romantic music. They ordered dinner, after which he took another napkin and drew a picture of a couple dancing.

    She nodded, and they got up to dance. They danced until the cafe closed and the band was packing up.

    Back at their table, the young lady took a napkin and drew a picture of a
    four-poster bed.

    To this day, Murphy has no idea how she figured out he was in the furniture business.
    Last edited by Matra et Alpine; 06-07-2011 at 02:23 AM.
    "A woman without curves is like a road without bends, you might get to your destination quicker but the ride is boring as hell'

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