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Thread: Funny Old Post

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    Funny Old Post

    (Apologies in advance to all who say old posts should lie forever in the UCP Hell ((or Heaven, depending in perspective)) that awaits unresponded threads, but 'Quail feels justified in bringing this one back up because he was so drunk at the time of writing that he doesn't remember it, and therefore laughed his ass off at it as though someone else had written it.)

    —————————————————————————————————————
    Originally Posted by Matra et Alpine View Post
    "Wow ... you didnt' know about Caligula ? It was infamous in it's day.
    ALso, from a historical perspective, it's a"gentle" reminder of what life in Roman times was actually like !!
    Be honest, you hated it because it always looks bigger on screen"
    —————————————————————————————————————

    'Quail's response:

    *D (Drunk)

    A couple looked a bit bigger, perhaps, but everyone knows the camera adds five pounds.

    I'd always heard that Caligula was a lewd, pornographic film. But I've always heard Indecent Proposal was a lewd, pornographic film also.

    It was a matter of degree that totally ****ed up our classic film night.

    We rented another film, which we watched after Caligula, which was quite good.

    It was called Sunshine and featured that kid that looks like Clark out of Smallville, but actually isn't. In truth, it was the kid who sprays everyone with LSD in the new Batman movie starring the rather serious guy out of The Machinist but significantly more buff.

    Sunshine was about a team of sexy, young Abercrombie models who, for whatever reason, get picked to save the Earth by driving a spaceship to the dying Sun and shooting a Manhattan-sized nuclear bomb at it.

    It was never explained why only young, sexy Abercrombie models were chosen for the mission, but the middle-aged Japanese captain of the ship was the only one that wasn't always trying so hard to be young, nubile, lithe and sexy.

    The Japanese captain was incinerated 20 minutes into the movie, leaving us to concentrate on younger and more nubile, lithe, sexy characters.

    As the film progressed about half the remaining crew died through what can only be described as misadventure. Towards the end, the film's only new character, SunMonsterMan, was introduced. He was barely explained and, for the most part, inconsequential to the film.

    You'd think a character like SunMonsterMan would have quite a bodycount in a film like this, but he didn't really make a dent on the admittedly small co-star population.

    To compare the setting (a silly-looking spaceship) to the world we live in, temperature changes would have been like influenza, polio and the Bubonic Plague. SunMonsterMan would have been like jellyfish stings. He stabbed one person to death, and she was asking for it by being so damn optimistic.

    'Quail won't give the ending away, but he was impressed with it. Given all the buildup about how spiritual driving a spaceship that looks for all the world like a colossal cocktail umbrella to the sun would be, it was utterly moving and appropriate.

    (Yeah, I know, a spaceship going to the sun would have to look like a cocktail umbrella. I still think it should have looked more like a fighter jet. They could have at least have the crew compartment spinning around to account for all the conspicuous gravity. You geeks.)
    Last edited by LandQuail; 07-08-2008 at 12:47 AM.
    I'm erudite ;-)

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