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Old 05-03-2005, 10:23 AM
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The Rally Dictionary

A

* AA abbrev. Automobile Association - a bunch of Very Nice Men as long as they don't know you're on a rally
* all-nighter n. A full length rally, often followed by breakfast
* alloy n. material used to triple the price of car parts
* all-the-right-bits: technical description to precisely describe the mechanical components required to produce a Well-Sorted car.
* AR abbrev. All Roads - code meaning ``difficult clue''
* autotest n. an organised event designed to test use of the handbrake
* average Speed: method of disguising excessively high speeds using a mathematical formula. Average Speed is defined as distance covered divided by time, all multiplied by the variable, k. When talking to the MSA, local residents and the police, k is assumed to equal 1. However, during the course of a Road Rally, k has been known to increase alarmingly.

B

* BBC Timing: an accurate method of synchronising rally timing so that all clocks read 21:00:00 exactly, at some point during the nine o'clock news.
* bent: technical description of a car, often used to describe a car involved in Moment. See also BBC Timing.
* black ice n. See moment, stack
* Blue Book n. a baroque comedic work in the style of Lear poetry published by MSA
* Bowring n. purveryors of insurance
* box n. a connoisseur's ninety
* bridge n. road-reading instruction warning of potential yump or ninety. See moment
* bump stop n. small rubber object designed to protect MacPherson strut valves and fuel lines

C

* catch v.t. to survive a moment, as in `I caught the first three'
* cattle grid n. See moment
* caution n. a particularly fine yump the rally organisers have taken pains to point out
* closing car n. sweeps up afterwards
* clue n. navigational rally route instruction, as in ``I haven't got a clue what this means''
* code board n. small temporary road sign hidden in a hedge immediately before a ninety
* compass n. sign of a desperate navigator
* competitive section: high speed section of an event requiring significant Competitive Skill to enable drivers to meet the required Average Speed.
* competitive Skill: dangerous driving.
* Cozzie n. rally prepared Ford Escort or Sierra RS Cosworth. Opposite of scrapper in every sense
* crest n. the top of a hill
* CRO abbrev. Coloured Roads Only - code meaning ``nice clue''
*

D
o ditch v.t. to parallel park a car unexpectedly during a rally
o dizzy: Slang term used to describe a distributor. It is unfortunatethat most rally cars require a Dizzy, as it is quiet often the first component to get f****d.
o driver n. incompetent person holding steering wheel
o doughnut n. novel means of ploughing grass with a rear wheel drive car

E
o eighty n. proprietary sobriety cure often sold in pints
o ETL abbrev. Electricity Transmission Line - large metallic twentieth century sculpture erected by Southern Electric to make rally clues harder
o excuse n. means to explain poor result in rally, or ditching or similar manouevres
o expert n. a class in navigational rallies for people who know what they're doing. See Schraider and Davies

F
o fade v.i. what brakes do when they overheat. See moment
o farmer n. 1. Nice man with tractor pulling your car out of the ditch 2. Angry owner of the fence you just totalled
o farmyard n. cobbled area not on the rally route, often strewn with mud and cow dung. See moment
o flat n. stage rally instruction, meaning ``Keep your right foot flat on the floor''
o ``Follow that car!'' n. traditional instruction to driver except when car in front navigated by `PRAR' Rennie!
o ford n. mid-rally car wash
o fork n. Y-shaped junction, as in the instruction ``Fork Right Off''
o four wheel drift n. simultaneous understeer and oversteer
o f****d: technical description, normally used to describe the exact status of mechanical components that have become non-functional.

G
o game pie n. dish made from a variety of wild animals, often enjoyed by the crew of the closing car
o grip n. See Yokohama
o

H
+ hairpin n. Corner much tighter than a ninety
+ handbrake 1. n. Direction changing lever found between the front seats, but not on Citroen, Saab or Alfa Romeo cars 2. v.t. To make use of the handbrake
+ hang on n. instruction to navigator
+ harness n. go-faster seat belt
+ hedge n. Follows hairpin, handbrake, hang-on
+ herringbone n. form of rally clue which works on the organisers' kitchen table but not in your car
+ hooking n. making use of the ditch to assist cornering.

I
+ icing n. what happens to carburettors in cold weather. See excuse
+ IGR abbrev. Ignore Gated Roads - code for ``b****** hard clue''
+ insurance n. overpriced piece of paper

J
+ jugs n. Weber DCOE or similar carburettors fitted to cars which WCC/HMC members can't afford (or can't afford to run)

K
+ K-right n. road reading instruction used by poncey navigators, meaning corner of between 30 and 60 degrees, depending on the navigator's handwriting

L
+ Landranger n. map depicting opportunities for a rally
+ lay-by n. place to hide a code board (Ref: NightWatchman Rally)
+ left n. often confused with right.
+ loop n. bigger place to hide a code board
+ lose v.t. 1. opposite of catch. See moment, excuse 2. What HMC/WCC crews in Renault 11's do to Cozzies (maybe a fantasy !).
+ lost n. state of Peugeot 405's on rallies.
+ lump hammer n. precision adjusting tool

M
+ marshal n. cold masochist
+ masochist n. someone lacking a sense of self preservation. See marshal, navigator
+ Mintex n. a means to prevent fade
+ minute n. over-optimistic time by which you try to reach the next time control
+ moment n. an incident during which the driver has even less control of the car than usual. The name derives from the duration of the incident in the navigator's reference frame; in the driver's reference frame it lasts several minutes. See ``The Principle of Relativity'' by A. Einstein; universal term to describe an incident which ranges from flat-spotting a tyre to vaporising 95% of the vehicle in a high-speed accident. The only requirement of a moment is that the driver is able to get to the next control point in order to report that he "had a bit of a moment back there".
+

N
# nadgery a section of route, frequently Not-as-map, where Competitive Skill should be moderated to avoid a Moment.
# National B n. hooligan's certificate
# navigator n. incompetent person clutching a map board; a person sitting in a rally car whose sole purpose is to accept the blame for the driver's mistakes. See also Not-as-map.
# navigational permit: curious concept where insurance companies seriously believe that the chances of a major accident are drastically reduced by allowing cars to have an unlimited number of turbo-chargers.
# ninety n. a corner the shape of a right-angle. See moment
# Non-Expert n. exactly
# non-competitive section: high speed section of an event requiring significantCompetitive Skill to enable drivers to meet the required Average Speed.
# not as map/NAM adj. a type of corner the OS cartographer has chosen to depict with particular artistic license; result of agreement between the Ordnance Survey and rally photographers. See moment
# novice n. class of rally competitor provided with easy clues to give the Non-Experts someone to follow.
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  #2  
Old 05-03-2005, 10:24 AM
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O
# off n. unplanned departure from the road. See ditch
# oncoming n. traffic flow of inconsiderate local residents and Ford Fiesta's driving the opposite way to rally route
# one-eight-six n. sheet number 186 ``Aldershot and Guildford area'' from the OS Landranger series of maps. The scene of many offs, ditchings, moments ...
# One-Thirties n.pl. extremely delicate pieces of wire encased in a glass bulb, which glow brightly for up to ten minutes
# opening car n. See rally
# OTL abbrev. Too D*** Late
# OS abbrev. Ordnance Survey - government agency which produces the Landranger series of maps
# oversteer n. a state in which the car tries to ditch itself on the inside of a corner

P
# pace car n. large vehicle, usually white, sporting extremely tacky go-faster stripes, multifarious flashing lights and driven by dour faced gentlemen in navy blue suits
# panic n. standard navigational technique
# panic envelope n. sealed paper container, to be opened only by wimps
# passage control n. NOT the Y reg. Sierra with the steamy windows
# pendulum n. poser's cornering technique
# pirouette n. ``handling'' characteristic of rear-engined vehicles. See moment
# porta-power n. hydraulically operated precision adjusting tool for large jobs
# poti n. navigator's essential equipment for fast sections
# PR problem n. Anal-retentive resident of a remote village
# pukka: excessively used term among Rally Boys, normally used to describe a vehicle that has all-the-right-bits or a driver that demonstrates CompetitiveSkill.

Q
# quiet zone n. place where you drive calmly if a driving standards observer is present
R
# MSA abbrev. The Motor Sports Association Ltd. - a bunch of money-grabbing legal humourists (allegedly !)
# rabbit n. See game pie
# rally boy: socio-environmental hooligan. It is now widely believedthat Rally Boys are surgically sealed within their rally jackets. Many people believe that anybody who's favourite topic of conversation is "gear ratios" must be terminally sad and it is certainly true that most Rally Boys are sexually inadequate; this is typified by the fact they find Louise Aitken-Walker more attractive than Michelle Pfieffer. Although rallying has existed since the invention of the motor car, it is thought the Rally Boy did not come into existence until the 1970's, when Stuart Turner mated a train-spotter with an RS2000.
# rally car n. See scrapper
# rally route n. a series of roads marked with dead rabbits
# red line n. point on the tachometer below which the needle should not be allowed to drop
# red mist n. a measn to make the car go faster. See ditch
# regularity section: high speed section of an event requiring significant Competitive Skill to enable drivers to meet the required Average Speed.
# right n. often confused with left. See Tim Warburton
# road rally n. A peaceful drive in the countryside; quasi-legal road race which justifies it's existence with judicious use of Average Speed.
# road reading n. prediciting the road ahead from assorted squiggles on the map, something the navigator often stops doing at inconvenient times. See moment
# road section: see Non-competitive Section.
# rocket fuel n. a half and half mixture of four star and super unleaded petrol
# romer n. a bit of plastic kicking around the floor of the car

S
# Schraider and Davies n. navigational rally mantra. See deity
# scrapper n. a motor car in a similar condition to those found in ``automotive recycling'' yards; a typical HMC/WCC vehicle
# sheep n. game pie target for a larger car
# single track n. a type of road not wide enough for a car and a tractor to pass side by side. See moment, oncoming
# skid marks n. a series of streaks which can be used to judge the quality of a moment, if the driver can be persuaded to part with his or her underwear.
# Special Stage: similar to a Competitive Section, although a Special Stage demands much greater Competitive Skill. See also Frontal Lobotomy.
# squirrel n. See game pie
# stack v.t. to perpendicularly park unexpectedly during a rally
# straight-forward navigation: a format that places greater emphasison the driver's Competitive Skill.
# straight line v.t. to take the ``racing line'' through a roundabout
# sturgeon n. a species of fish prized for its stomach calming properties
# sulk v.i. See navigator
# sump guard: Thin sheet of aluminium fitted by drivers to their cars in the mistaken belief that it will stop the engine getting f****d during Competitive Sections along Whites.

T
# tantrum n. See driver
# tightens adj. navigator's euphamism. See moment
# time control/TC n. place where the navigator haggles with a marshal for a minute
# toe down adj. proper driving style
# twelve car n. small, intimate rally for close friends; a notion inspired by the MSA based on the premise that if an event has only twelve cars competing, it will be over before the police have time to respond to residents' complaints.

U
# U-ey n. a tactical manoeuvre used in situations of navigational uncertainty
# understeer n. a state in which the car tries to ditch itself on the outside of a corner

V
# video camera n. jinx

W
# well sorted attribute of a motor vehicle which has All-the-right-bits so that it can be driven with considerable Competitive Skill.
# white n. proper, unsurfaced rally road; unsurfaced track, bridleway, public footpath, sheep track or contour line which the navigation defines as a road. The name originates from the usual colour of the navigator's face following Competitive Sections on Whites. Events which use a large number of whites are likely to use BBC Timing and offer Straight-forward Navigation.
# WD abbrev. Wrong Direction - the act of arriving at a time control going the other way, which incurs a penalty.
# wimps n. people who suffer from common sense while driving a car
# work v.i. something clues occasionally do

Y
# yellow n. tarmac rally road
# Yokohama n. a Japanese company which manufactures ingenious transfers used to apply rubber to tarmac
# yump 1. n. a crest on a road specially designed to separate the car's wheels from the ground 2. v.t. to drive a car spiritedly across a yump

Z
# Z-bends n. pl. a series of consecutive moments
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Cedric - I sound like a chipmunk on there. Some friends of mine were like, "were you going through puberty?" I was like, no I was already 20, I just sound like a girl.
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  #3  
Old 05-03-2005, 11:01 AM
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Matra et Alpine Matra et Alpine is offline
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excellent
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  #4  
Old 05-05-2005, 09:44 AM
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year lol very good I agree with Matra
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  #5  
Old 07-09-2005, 09:34 PM
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Ah!! fantastic

I just hope WRC or even JWRC comes to the US (only american interested in rallying)
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  #6  
Old 07-09-2005, 10:08 PM
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Quote:
o f****d: technical description, normally used to describe the exact status of mechanical components that have become non-functional.
thats greatness
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pondering things
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  #7  
Old 07-09-2005, 10:24 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sunk
(only american interested in rallying)
There are plenty of Americans that watch/enjoy WRC, including myself. I've seen 4 SCCA ProRallies in the U.S. as well.
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Rockefella says:
pat's sister is hawt
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so is mine
David Fiset says:
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  #8  
Old 07-10-2005, 12:56 AM
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love it!

did that rally make you smarter too james?? get your ass on msn boy!!
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